An open letter to my current self

Jean,

I’m sitting in this old wooden chair right now, staring at this blank page with a tired and pale face, sweaty and trembling hands, trying to catch every letter in the alphabet to weave it into words and sentences that can do something magical in your life but, I never thought it will be this difficult.

In your nineteen years of existence, I believe it was full of big dreams and worst nightmares. It was nineteen years of swimming with the monsters and fairies in this sea of life. And within those years, I know you’ve felt every emotion- bliss and sadness, anger and faith, fear and trust, courage and anxiety, lost and love. I want to write you a letter to remind (reassure) you that you do masterpieces and you are a masterpiece.

I am so proud of what and who you are today. I’m glad you made it this far. I am so happy to see you smiling. And yes, I know, there may be times that life seems to have a fever that affects your whole system, there may be days when you cry yourself to sleep, there may be days when you’re making your coffee and the thought of being not enough hits you, there may be days when He seems to be far away, and you know what? There will always be days like that, and that’s okay. You are allowed to get hurt, but I hope you don’t let it consume you (not again).

I want to remind you that nightmares may not rhyme with dreams but it can stitch your fate in a way you have never imagined. Don’t give up on yourself the way others did. It was not your faith in God that failed you; it was your faith in people who brought pain and bitterness in your heart. Forgive others and forgive yourself. You are your own hero. No, God is your hero. Let go and let God do the wonders. Don’t let sadness and depression paralyze your mind. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Be kind to yourself as you do with people. Be soft and be brave. Remember, you’re more than a princess, you’re a princess’ warrior. Free that warrior inside you.

I challenge you to dream big dreams and to be blessed and be a blessing. Let your hands always be open to catch God’s graces. And even challenges. You get scratches and bruises from catching life’s problems, and that’s okay. Your scars are not a shame. Your scars bear the greatest story of your life.

Get rid of those dark thoughts you have; and swim in the ocean full of hope, happiness, faith, and courage. Take the risk of trying new things and to trust again. I dare you to be in love; be in love with your own mind and heart, be in love with people, be in love with yourself, be in love with life, and to keep on falling in love with the every atom that composes this universe. Always keep in mind that this life is a roller coaster ride, that in spite of the bitterness of life, happiness will always be worthwhile. Never stop on realizing things, learning, and growing. Paint your life with the different color shades that are therein. And out of the many colors of the string of fate and life, I believe you will pick colors that have lessons that are worth learning for. I believe in you and so the others who give importance to your existence.

Believe that you will always be prayed and loved for. You’re bigger than all your flaws and problems summed up. You’re bigger than you fears and pain. You’re bigger than all those things. And God is bigger than anything. He sees you, sweetheart, he sees you. He wants you to be saved. Cling on to Him. Don’t let go of His hand. No, not ever. And never ever forget to pray.

You are a work of art- engraved by the Great Artist. You are a masterpiece created by the Most High who is worth more than anything. Thus, YOU matter. You always matter.

Lovingly hoping,
Yourself 

 

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P.S. Don’t lose that smile. Please.

 

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